a firetender's chronical.11

Feeling a bit vulnerable right now.

I'm painfully aware of how I've been struggling on the business end. You know, like the business-business end that makes it easy for people to both want and order the tools and art that I offer.

And there's been a part of me trying to sucker people in to help me move forward as the mouthpiece for my work while I immerse myself in the articulation of it all. Apparently, I'm adamant about not tending to the nuts and bolts. I know that's what this operation needs, assuming, of course, I don't want to become homeless.

I once was Implementer, the guy who facilitated the business realization of the other guys' dreams. So now, since I'm seeking Implementers of my own, I have to look at my own dreams, and do a little check-in to see where I'm going.

If I get the right kind of attention drawn to what I'm doing, I will attract allies, the whole Law of Attraction thing. I realize what I'm doing is building, as best I can, a vision of this concept called firetender and hoping it will be attractive enough to draw people in who have the talents to make it a viable, worthwhile entity, for all our benefit.

This chronical.whatevernumber is all about me sharing my process. It is self-centered, a touch arrogant, and, at this point, I'm not all that convinced it will do anything but make me seem like the lazy manipulative jerk I am. So, what is it I'm really selling here?

This blog is an exercise in transparency, which I aspire to model. My articles at http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Russ_Reina and my art at http://www.thestoryofthis.net/ for example, are about the work. In that, my most important role is to get out of the way. For some dopey reason I have the notion that these things are gifts for you.

I'm imagining right now that what I'm doing here takes hold. That the things I'm doing are actually foundational to the future of the work; that I'm not just pulling my pud here. I'm imagining that some talented and savvy people will tune in to what I'm doing, and knowing that one of their highest aspirations can be expressed through business, they will provide the support necessary to help get This work out there to do The work.

That statement came naturally, and I'm glad it did. My vision for myself is about doing the work, not talking about Russ. As this firetender and Healing Arts Central thing gets a foothold (Note to Self: Speak as if it's already happened!), I refuse to let it be about how this firetender guy built a successful enterprise through working Zaadz. I'm failing the mission if that's its core.

The firetender's role, in working with the sacred fires of the Inipi (sweat lodge), is to relate to the fire moment to moment; to work with exactly what is so that it does the work that it's supposed to do. The fire protects and warms the Grandfather stones, as they get ready to speak to the people in the lodge. But, it's not about the firetender, nor is it about the fire, nor is it about the Grandfather stones or the person who pours water on them. It's not even about the people in the lodge. It is all about those forces working together so "all our relations" may live in health and happiness.

This is the challenge of the work of the firetender; to facilitate while staying out of the way; to keep on point while seeking the greater good.

I have to laugh at the Walter Mittyness of this whole thing!  In this moment, just to give you an idea of where I'm at, I'm fantasizing about being on the Conan O'Brien Show.

CONAN: So you were basically eating cat food, living on Maui ... (to audience) Sure, firetender, suffering mightily, living on Maui...and then you found this Zaadz site. How did you convince them to build this huge, Capitalistic, New-Age Airy-Fairy money-making enterprise behind you?

RUSS, a firetender: That's kinda cool, how you arch your eyebrows just before you think you have someone nailed. Do you practice that? Is that what you have to do to give us what we want? I'm really curious about how you create yourself for us. How can we learn from your journey?

That's the work. Although I'd hope I'd be a little less New-Agey with the wording.